Proverbs 29:1 (NLT)
1 Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.
The Reverend Matthew Henry wrote, “The obstinacy of many wicked people in a wicked way is to be greatly lamented. They are often reproved by parents and friends, by magistrates and ministers, by the providence of God and by their own consciences, have had their sins set in order before them and fair warning given them of the consequences of them, but all in vain; they harden their necks. Perhaps they fling away, and will not so much as give the reproof a patient hearing; or, if they do, yet they go on in the sins for which they are reproved; they will not bow their necks to the yoke, but are children of Belial; they refuse reproof , despise it, hate it. They shall be suddenly destroyed, in the midst of their security, and without remedy; they have sinned against the preventing remedy, and therefore let them not expect any recovering remedy.
There are two types of criticism we usually deal with in life, negative criticism and constructive criticism. Negative criticism is when someone voices an opinion towards us with the purpose of showing that something is simply wrong, false, mistaken, nonsensical, objectionable, disreputable or evil. It is generally interpreted as an attack towards us. Constructive criticism aims to show that the intent or purpose of something is better served by an alternative approach. In this case, the target of criticism is not necessarily deemed wrong, and its purpose is respected; rather, it is claimed that the same goal could be better achieved via a different route. For some of us any form of criticism is painful because it is directed at our self-esteem which may make us feel devalued. However King Solomon says we should accept the words of criticism and not refuse it when it is given to us. In other words we should listen to others opinions, but use the wisdom God has given us to discern what is true and what is not. Listening never hurts. In fact the Bible tells us we should be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger giving time to weight the evidence before us and apply what is necessary to our lives.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Guard your heart
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
King Solomon shares this piece of wisdom that we must maintain a holy jealousy of ourselves and ensure that all areas of our soul are guarded. We are to not let our hearts hurt others, nor are we to let others hurt our heart. Our hearts should remain free from sin and not disturbed by the trouble that comes into our lives. We are to have a good conscience; keeping good thoughts and not bad ones. We must keep our hearts with more diligence than any other part of us, because all issues of life are directed by the heart. Our lives will follow the path of our heart making us comfortable or uncomfortable, rejoiceful or distraught.
We owe it to our husband or wife, our fellow workers, our children, our friends, indeed to everyone who comes into our lives, to be as happy as we can be. This does not mean acting unreal, and it certainly does not mean refraining from honest and intimate expressions of our feelings to those closest to us. But it does mean that we owe it to others to work on our happiness.... I once asked a deeply religious man if he considered himself a truly pious person. He responded that while he aspired to be one, he felt that he fell short in two areas. One of those areas, he said, was his not being a happy enough person to be considered truly pious. His point was that unhappy religious people reflect poorly on their religion and their Creator. He was right; in fact, unhappy religious people pose a real challenge to faith. If their faith is so impressive, why aren't these devoted adherents happy? There are only two possible reasons: either they are not practicing their faith correctly, or they are practicing their faith correctly and the religion itself is not conducive to happiness. Most outsiders assumer the latter reason. Unhappy religious people should therefore think about how important being happy is -- if not for themselves, then for the sake of their religion. Unhappy, let alone angry, religious people provide more persuasive arguments for atheism and secularism than do all the arguments of atheists. [Dennis Prager, talk show host, author, columnist , Happiness Is a Serious Problem (Regan Books, 1998), p.4]
23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
King Solomon shares this piece of wisdom that we must maintain a holy jealousy of ourselves and ensure that all areas of our soul are guarded. We are to not let our hearts hurt others, nor are we to let others hurt our heart. Our hearts should remain free from sin and not disturbed by the trouble that comes into our lives. We are to have a good conscience; keeping good thoughts and not bad ones. We must keep our hearts with more diligence than any other part of us, because all issues of life are directed by the heart. Our lives will follow the path of our heart making us comfortable or uncomfortable, rejoiceful or distraught.
We owe it to our husband or wife, our fellow workers, our children, our friends, indeed to everyone who comes into our lives, to be as happy as we can be. This does not mean acting unreal, and it certainly does not mean refraining from honest and intimate expressions of our feelings to those closest to us. But it does mean that we owe it to others to work on our happiness.... I once asked a deeply religious man if he considered himself a truly pious person. He responded that while he aspired to be one, he felt that he fell short in two areas. One of those areas, he said, was his not being a happy enough person to be considered truly pious. His point was that unhappy religious people reflect poorly on their religion and their Creator. He was right; in fact, unhappy religious people pose a real challenge to faith. If their faith is so impressive, why aren't these devoted adherents happy? There are only two possible reasons: either they are not practicing their faith correctly, or they are practicing their faith correctly and the religion itself is not conducive to happiness. Most outsiders assumer the latter reason. Unhappy religious people should therefore think about how important being happy is -- if not for themselves, then for the sake of their religion. Unhappy, let alone angry, religious people provide more persuasive arguments for atheism and secularism than do all the arguments of atheists. [Dennis Prager, talk show host, author, columnist , Happiness Is a Serious Problem (Regan Books, 1998), p.4]
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sharing the burdens you carry
2 Samuel 13:20-23 (NLT)
20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. 22 And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister. 23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheep were being sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king’s sons to come to a feast.
These verses show the dysfunction of a family. Amnon, son of King David, half-brother to Tamar and Absalom, raped Tamar. Absalom found out and wanted to hide Tamar’s shame and protect her. King David found out the details and while angry did nothing about the problem. Two years passed and still King David had done nothing about the rape of Tamar, which was his responsibility as king and even more of a responsibility as her father.
Can you imagine the turmoil Tamar lived in? First raped by her brother and then ignored by her father. Then the brother who cared so much for her made a choice to defend her honor and kill his half-brother, which later isolated him. Can you imagine being told to keep quiet through this turmoil? Unfortunately many people feel they must remain silent about their problems and secrets. Yet, God wants us to seek out safe and wise people who can help us with our struggles. God wants us to know there is someone we can share our burdens with and not have to hold back secrets. I have heard Dr. Drew say more than once that patients are told “You are only as sick as your secrets.” And it is true, hold back the secrets and you are holding back the emotional pain that needs to be released and dealt with. I pray if you have issues in your life you have not told anyone, seek out someone you can trust and someone who has the wisdom to lead you in the right direction. Please don’t let life’s issues overwhelm you to the point of seeking out solutions that destroy your life.
20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. 22 And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister. 23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheep were being sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king’s sons to come to a feast.
These verses show the dysfunction of a family. Amnon, son of King David, half-brother to Tamar and Absalom, raped Tamar. Absalom found out and wanted to hide Tamar’s shame and protect her. King David found out the details and while angry did nothing about the problem. Two years passed and still King David had done nothing about the rape of Tamar, which was his responsibility as king and even more of a responsibility as her father.
Can you imagine the turmoil Tamar lived in? First raped by her brother and then ignored by her father. Then the brother who cared so much for her made a choice to defend her honor and kill his half-brother, which later isolated him. Can you imagine being told to keep quiet through this turmoil? Unfortunately many people feel they must remain silent about their problems and secrets. Yet, God wants us to seek out safe and wise people who can help us with our struggles. God wants us to know there is someone we can share our burdens with and not have to hold back secrets. I have heard Dr. Drew say more than once that patients are told “You are only as sick as your secrets.” And it is true, hold back the secrets and you are holding back the emotional pain that needs to be released and dealt with. I pray if you have issues in your life you have not told anyone, seek out someone you can trust and someone who has the wisdom to lead you in the right direction. Please don’t let life’s issues overwhelm you to the point of seeking out solutions that destroy your life.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Time for reconciliation
Proverbs 24:17-18 (NLT)
17 Don’t rejoice when your enemies fall; don’t be happy when they stumble. 18 For the Lord will be displeased with you and will turn his anger away from them.
King Solomon reminds us God does not want us to rejoice when those who trouble us fall from grace. God’s desire is to restore people and He allows the consequences of their choices to discipline them. It is at that time we should show mercy and grace in hopes they may be reconciled to God and with us.
In 1913, the Federal government held a fiftieth anniversary reunion at Gettysburg. It lasted three days. Thousands of survivors camped in the old battlefield, swapping stories, looking up comrades. The climax of the gathering was a reenactment of Pickett's Charge. Thousands of spectators gathered to watch as the Union veterans took their positions on opposite ridges and started toward each other. Philip Myers, [who witnessed the event as an 18 year old] wrote, "We could see not rifles or bayonets; nothing but canes and crutches. We soon could distinguish the more agile ones aiding those less able to maintain their places in the ranks." As they neared the battle line, they broke into one final, defiant rebel yell. "It was then," wrote Myers, "that the Yankees, unable to restrain themselves longer, burst from behind the stone wall, and flung themselves upon their former enemies...not in mortal combat, but re-united in brother love and affection." They came together, old enemies, and spent several moments in embraced hugs, hand shaking, and patting each other’s backs. [The Civil War, p. 412. From the files of Leadership.]
This was a time for reconciliation, not a time to start a new war. The broken and wounded were there where the battle had taken place and the enemy gave compassion freely and openly. God wants us to be compassionate and merciful to those who have been broken and wounded; not resentful and angry. We all need to learn to forgive for our own sake and let grace be our guide.
17 Don’t rejoice when your enemies fall; don’t be happy when they stumble. 18 For the Lord will be displeased with you and will turn his anger away from them.
King Solomon reminds us God does not want us to rejoice when those who trouble us fall from grace. God’s desire is to restore people and He allows the consequences of their choices to discipline them. It is at that time we should show mercy and grace in hopes they may be reconciled to God and with us.
In 1913, the Federal government held a fiftieth anniversary reunion at Gettysburg. It lasted three days. Thousands of survivors camped in the old battlefield, swapping stories, looking up comrades. The climax of the gathering was a reenactment of Pickett's Charge. Thousands of spectators gathered to watch as the Union veterans took their positions on opposite ridges and started toward each other. Philip Myers, [who witnessed the event as an 18 year old] wrote, "We could see not rifles or bayonets; nothing but canes and crutches. We soon could distinguish the more agile ones aiding those less able to maintain their places in the ranks." As they neared the battle line, they broke into one final, defiant rebel yell. "It was then," wrote Myers, "that the Yankees, unable to restrain themselves longer, burst from behind the stone wall, and flung themselves upon their former enemies...not in mortal combat, but re-united in brother love and affection." They came together, old enemies, and spent several moments in embraced hugs, hand shaking, and patting each other’s backs. [The Civil War, p. 412. From the files of Leadership.]
This was a time for reconciliation, not a time to start a new war. The broken and wounded were there where the battle had taken place and the enemy gave compassion freely and openly. God wants us to be compassionate and merciful to those who have been broken and wounded; not resentful and angry. We all need to learn to forgive for our own sake and let grace be our guide.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The danger of alcohol
Proverbs 23:29-35 (NLT)
29 Who has anguish? Who has sorrow? Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining? Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? 30 It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new drinks. 31 Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down. 32 For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake; it stings like a viper. 33 You will see hallucinations, and you will say crazy things. 34 You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. 35 And you will say, “They hit me, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t even know it when they beat me up. When will I wake up so I can look for another drink?”
King Solomon passes along to his son the wisdom of not indulging one’s self with the pleasure of alcohol. For the person who gives into indulgence finds themselves facing anguish, sorrow, along with emotional and physical pain. Even with the suffering they face they continue to seek after the pleasure of alcohol while continuing to destroy their lives and the lives they are tied to.
1st Timothy 3:8 says for a person to qualify as a deacon of a church they should not be heavy drinkers of wine. Ephesians 5:18 says to the Christian “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” The Bible makes it clear as Christians we should avoid indulging ourselves with alcohol and instead we should be seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I know firsthand the pains caused by alcohol for my father was an alcoholic. My mother said when my father was not drinking he could be the kindest person, but when he drank he became out of control, much like the words in Proverbs. He complained. He got into fights. He found himself beat up after spending long hours in bars. From years of drinking mixed with amphetamines to pull him out of his drunken state; he was psychotic; had hallucinations and said things that were untrue and crazy. He found himself in the mental hospital on several occasions from his addiction. Amazing how the words from thousands of years ago are still so true. If you find yourself struggling with the use of alcohol seek out help and stay clear from its temptation. Don’t ruin your life and the life of others for something that destroys.
29 Who has anguish? Who has sorrow? Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining? Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? 30 It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new drinks. 31 Don’t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down. 32 For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake; it stings like a viper. 33 You will see hallucinations, and you will say crazy things. 34 You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. 35 And you will say, “They hit me, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t even know it when they beat me up. When will I wake up so I can look for another drink?”
King Solomon passes along to his son the wisdom of not indulging one’s self with the pleasure of alcohol. For the person who gives into indulgence finds themselves facing anguish, sorrow, along with emotional and physical pain. Even with the suffering they face they continue to seek after the pleasure of alcohol while continuing to destroy their lives and the lives they are tied to.
1st Timothy 3:8 says for a person to qualify as a deacon of a church they should not be heavy drinkers of wine. Ephesians 5:18 says to the Christian “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” The Bible makes it clear as Christians we should avoid indulging ourselves with alcohol and instead we should be seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I know firsthand the pains caused by alcohol for my father was an alcoholic. My mother said when my father was not drinking he could be the kindest person, but when he drank he became out of control, much like the words in Proverbs. He complained. He got into fights. He found himself beat up after spending long hours in bars. From years of drinking mixed with amphetamines to pull him out of his drunken state; he was psychotic; had hallucinations and said things that were untrue and crazy. He found himself in the mental hospital on several occasions from his addiction. Amazing how the words from thousands of years ago are still so true. If you find yourself struggling with the use of alcohol seek out help and stay clear from its temptation. Don’t ruin your life and the life of others for something that destroys.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Accountability
James 5:16 (NLT)
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
James, the half-brother of Jesus, writes we should be willing to confess our sins. We should also confess sins to those who we are close to so that they might pray with us to overcome those sins. James tells us that confession to a righteous person who prays for us will have great power within our lives and produce wonderful results.
Accountability is an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions. With accountability we are willing to disclose issues that affect us or others. We are willing to let someone look into our lives and see whatever problems may exist and guide us in correcting those issues. Many self-help groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, take accountability serious. They tell the individual they need to seek out the forgiveness of those they have hurt, make themselves accountable, and make amends where possible with those they have hurt. This is where talking with someone is important and why AA includes a sponsor as a part of their program. The sponsor gives the individual someone safe they can trust to listen to their problems and help guide them in their recovery efforts. As Christians we need close, safe, and righteous friends we can discuss our sins with. We need to let these friends hold us accountable for our actions and pray with us when we fail. God is quick to forgive when someone confesses their sin so it is important to not hold back. We don’t always need to confess our sin to a person, but when we have hurt others we do and need the help and guidance from those who are safe, close and righteous friends.
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
James, the half-brother of Jesus, writes we should be willing to confess our sins. We should also confess sins to those who we are close to so that they might pray with us to overcome those sins. James tells us that confession to a righteous person who prays for us will have great power within our lives and produce wonderful results.
Accountability is an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions. With accountability we are willing to disclose issues that affect us or others. We are willing to let someone look into our lives and see whatever problems may exist and guide us in correcting those issues. Many self-help groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, take accountability serious. They tell the individual they need to seek out the forgiveness of those they have hurt, make themselves accountable, and make amends where possible with those they have hurt. This is where talking with someone is important and why AA includes a sponsor as a part of their program. The sponsor gives the individual someone safe they can trust to listen to their problems and help guide them in their recovery efforts. As Christians we need close, safe, and righteous friends we can discuss our sins with. We need to let these friends hold us accountable for our actions and pray with us when we fail. God is quick to forgive when someone confesses their sin so it is important to not hold back. We don’t always need to confess our sin to a person, but when we have hurt others we do and need the help and guidance from those who are safe, close and righteous friends.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Watch what you say or don't say it
Proverbs 21:23 (NLT)
23 Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.
This proverb speaks for itself. There are some things which just should not be said. Avoiding saying the wrong words will keep a person from trouble.
It never fails to amaze me how people try to reconcile their issues and then they will say something that just completely ruins any trust or confidence. I have been listening to several interviews of people in the media lately. It seems the ones in trouble just didn’t know when to say nothing. For instance you don’t stand up before the public and say, “I did not do this!” and then the evidence comes out that you did. Another one is you don’t say the problems in your family was your fault and then turn around and announce had your family been supportive maybe the problems would not have occurred. You can’t blame another for your actions, when you were the one at fault. Listen well to this proverb and remain silent at the appropriate times. Don’t blame others when the blame is yours. And don’t lie to cover up mistakes for it better to say nothing than to say something that will break trust.
23 Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.
This proverb speaks for itself. There are some things which just should not be said. Avoiding saying the wrong words will keep a person from trouble.
It never fails to amaze me how people try to reconcile their issues and then they will say something that just completely ruins any trust or confidence. I have been listening to several interviews of people in the media lately. It seems the ones in trouble just didn’t know when to say nothing. For instance you don’t stand up before the public and say, “I did not do this!” and then the evidence comes out that you did. Another one is you don’t say the problems in your family was your fault and then turn around and announce had your family been supportive maybe the problems would not have occurred. You can’t blame another for your actions, when you were the one at fault. Listen well to this proverb and remain silent at the appropriate times. Don’t blame others when the blame is yours. And don’t lie to cover up mistakes for it better to say nothing than to say something that will break trust.
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