An honest answer

Proverbs 24:26 (NLT)

26 An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship.

An honest answer tempered with wisdom is always the best answer to give. For like a kiss of friendship an honest answer is trusting and shows the affection of friendship.

After interviewing business leaders at over 100 companies, the authors of a 2012 Harvard Business Review article concluded: "Smart leaders today … engage with employees in a way that resembles an ordinary person-to-person conversation." According to the authors, an essential part of "ordinary person-to-person conversation" involves listening well and getting honest feedback.

They use the following story as an example: James E. Rogers, the president and CEO at Duke Energy, instituted a series of what he called "listening sessions." In a series of three-hour meetings, he invited the people he led to raise any pressing issues. He also asked for their brutally honest feedback about his own leadership performance. The authors of the article wrote:

He asked employees at one session to grade him on a scale of A to F. The results, recorded anonymously, immediately appeared on a screen for all to see. The grades were generally good, but less than half of the employees were willing to give him an A. He took the feedback seriously and began to conduct the exercise regularly. He also began asking open-ended questions about his performance. Somewhat ironically, he found that "internal communication" was the area in which the highest number of participants believed he had room for improvement. Even as Rogers sought to get close to employees by way of [conversation], a fifth of his people were urging him to get closer still. True listening involves taking the bad with the good, absorbing criticism even when it is direct and personal—and even when those delivering it work for you. [Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind, "Leadership Is a Conversation," Harvard Business Review (June 2012)]

It is not always easy the listen to the honesty of others. Sometimes it hurts a little when someone gives us some constructive criticism to help us grow. It’s not always pleasant to hear our faults and know that we have imperfections. The truth is none of us are perfect. We all have faults and flaws and if we can just listen and for the areas where we need to change we can start growing into something better. All of us have room for improvement so open your arms wide to an honest answer.

Stop corrupt talk and build up others

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Filthy and unclean words and discourse are poisonous and infectious, as putrid rotten meat: they proceed from and prove a great deal of corruption in the heart of the speaker, and tend to corrupt the minds and manners of others who hear them; and therefore Christians should beware of all such discourse. [Matthew Henry]

This morning I was listening to a video blog by Karamo Brown. Karamo Brown is a television personality, single father of two boys and prides himself on being a trusted friend. I enjoy listening to him.The question he posed was “Are White People Wrong For Using The N-Word?” This blog was prompted by a video of a 15 year old Justin Bieber who flippantly used the N-Word in an interview.

While Justin apologized for his comments there were still many people who were hurt. The corrupted words that came out corrupted the thoughts of others into disgust and hatred. The words did not encourage, but discouraged those who were offended.

Karamo made a statement I liked, “Stop teaching those that are ignorant that their ignorance is OK.” In other words, no matter who you are, don’t use language that makes it seem acceptable for others to use.

I’m white and personally the N-Word offends me. If someone asked me have you said it, I would have to admit I have. There is no denying it. I was raised in the South and it was a word I often heard as a kid. I may have repeated it. I may have used the word to indicate something was rigged up in an unacceptable manner, but at no time did I used the word towards another person. As I have grown older, I won’t even use or repeat the word.

I can tell you how messed up all this is. I went to see a black comedian who I enjoyed watching on TV. My wife and I were 1 of 3 white couples at the shows. Several black comedians came out to perform their routines and most used the N-word. It was used so many times that night I couldn’t even give you an estimate of the number of times it was used. Embarrassing to me, blacks sitting around us laughed when it was used. In this instance my wife and I were the ones feeling uncomfortable about a word we dislike.

So Karamo is right, we need to keep away from corrupt talking so as to build up others. If others hear us tear ourselves down and laugh others are most likely going to learn to do the same. Let us all learn to say things that build each other up and not hurt one another. I love encouraging others and the best way to encourage is to use affirming words.

Would you take a stand with me not to use words that tear down people? Would you instead help build up people and affirm them so they know they are valuable? For God the Father sees everyone as precious and valuable and so should we.

If you are weary, don't give up!

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

The apostle gives encouragement to the Galatians. Though we all grow weary in our efforts to do well; there is a benefit to not giving up. We must press forward with good hope that we can accomplish what we set out to do.

R. L. Russell writes in “Triumphing over Trials”, John Claypool, when he was the preacher of the Crescent Hill Baptist Church here in town, had a little daughter who suffered with leukemia. When she went into remission, everybody thought maybe God had healed her. On an Easter Sunday morning she went into a terrible recurrence. In his book, Tracks of a Fellow Struggler, Claypool relates how for two weeks his daughter was wracked with pain, her eyes swollen shut. She asked him, "Daddy, did you talk to God about my leukemia?"

He said, "Yes, dear, we've been praying for you."

She asked, "Did you ask him how long the leukemia would last? What did God say?"

What do you say to your daughter when you can't help her, and the heavens are silent? Emotionally and spiritually he was exhausted. A few hours later, she died. The following Sunday morning, John Claypool got into the pulpit to preach. I've heard the tape. It's one of the most powerful sermons I've heard. He preached on (Isaiah 40:31), which says, "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Dr. Claypool said something to the effect, "There are three stages of life. Sometimes we mount up with wings as an eagle and fly. We're on top of the world. Sometimes we run, and we don't grow weary. We just go through the routine. Sometimes it's all we can do to walk and not faint, and I need your prayers and your encouragement."

At the moment John Claypool was at his lowest, he preached probably his most influential sermon. Perhaps his greatest contribution came at his darkest hour. He could have said like Paul, "For when I am weak, then I am strong."

There are some of you reading this thinking, “It is all I can do to walk and not faint today.” You have been through some tough struggles. Maybe life has been unfair in various ways and you just seem to be pushed to the bottom of life’s barrel.

But let us always remember, “When we are weak, then we are made strong.” The grace and mercy of Christ comes through in those difficult moments to life us up and keep us moving.

For those who are struggling, I pray God will minister to you, comfort you, calm you, nurture you, and care for you. Even when you don’t feel like loving yourself, just know God loves you more than you will ever know.

God's purpose will prevail

Proverbs 19:21 (NLT)

21 You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

This proverb tells us that we can make all the plans our heart desires, but if The Lord has a purpose that needs to be fulfilled that purpose will prevail over our plans.

Many of us have grown up hearing the story of Jonah and the whale. The Bible says, “The Lord gave this message to Jonah son of Amittai:  “Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh. Announce my judgment against it because I have seen how wicked its people are.”

As a prophet it was Jonah’s mission to spread God’s word to other areas. God has chosen Jonah to go to Nineveh to speak against the great wickedness taking place there and to give the people a chance to repent towards God. Yet Jonah wasn’t happy with the mission he was assigned. He knew the wickedness of Nineveh and in his mind believed the city deserved whatever consequences it might receive.

So what does Jonah do? Jonah pays for a fare on a ship heading the opposite direction. Jonah was determined to go as far away from Nineveh as he could. I’m sure he thought if I’m not there, surely I can’t preach to the people of the city. And if I can’t preach to the people then they can’t repent.

God had different plans for Jonah. A violent storm came up tossing the ship Jonah was on all about. While the crew attempted to keep the boat under control Jonah slept. The crew called to their gods, but no help came. They threw the cargo overboard in hopes of making the ship lighter, still the storm persisted. They woke Jonah to pray to his God for help. They were desperate, so desperate they cast lots to see who might be the cause of their problems.

The Bible then says, “When they did this, the lots identified Jonah as the culprit. “Why has this awful storm come down on us?” they demanded. “Who are you? What is your line of work? What country are you from? What is your nationality?” Jonah answered, “I am a Hebrew, and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land.” The sailors were terrified when they heard this, for he had already told them he was running away from the Lord. “Oh, why did you do it?” they groaned. And since the storm was getting worse all the time, they asked him, “What should we do to you to stop this storm?” “Throw me into the sea,” Jonah said, “and it will become calm again. I know that this terrible storm is all my fault.”

Jonah decided he would just surrender to the sea instead of going to Nineveh. So they threw him over and a great fish swallowed Jonah and took him to Nineveh.

After being in the fish for 3 days and nights, time Jonah was ready to preach to the city of Nineveh and when he did The Bible says, “The people of Nineveh believed God’s message, and from the greatest to the least, they declared a fast and put on burlap to show their sorrow. When the king of Nineveh heard what Jonah was saying, he stepped down from his throne and took off his royal robes. He dressed himself in burlap and sat on a heap of ashes.”

Despite Jonah’s determination to avoid helping the city of Nineveh, The Bible says, “When God saw what they had done and how they had put a stop to their evil ways, he changed his mind and did not carry out the destruction he had threatened.” God’s purpose had prevailed despite the plans of Jonah.

Stop and pray

Philippians 1:4 (NLT)

4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy

In the opening letter to the Philippians the apostles greets them and then shares with them that when he thinks of them, he prays from them. It is a joyful thing for him to remember his friends and give prayers to God on their behalf.

When I was little we use to visit my grandmother’s sister on occasions. Her husband’s name was Charlie. As it was customary to do before a meal, Charlie would say the blessing. Charlie’s blessings were short and sweet. He always gave a blessing quick enough so everyone could start eating. It was the intent of Charlie’s heart that counted.

When we pray for others it does not have to be complicated and drawn out. Prayers can be simple remembrances for the needs of others. We can do as the apostle did and when we think of someone and their need, we can stop and pray.

Often I have friends tell me they kept me in their prayers over the week. I am always appreciative for those who pray for me because I know they were thinking of me. They took the time to ask God to fill specific needs in my life.

In turn I also pray for people. As people run across my mind I stop and say a prayer for them. Sometimes I am asking God to answer a need. Sometimes I am asking God to heal a person. Other times I might be asking God to provide comfort and safety. Whatever the request I know God hears and will respond appropriately.

Never hesitate to remember others in your prayers. Pray for their safety, their health, their emotional needs, marriage or whatever thought crosses your mind. For The Bible tells us that God hears the prayers of the righteous. And while you are at it, remember your own needs and pray for them as well.

God's word provides direction

Psalm 119:105 (NLT)

105 Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

Psalmist reminds us that God’s word guides people in good ways. His word helps them not trip and stumble as they go through life.

There have been people throughout history who have tried to destroy the words of God. Scrolls and Bibles have been burned in an attempt to keep people from the knowledge of God. The Bible even speaks of King Jehoiakim, the king of Judah, who burned the scroll of Jerimiah. Yet God had Jerimiah dictate another scroll that lasted thousands of years.

People are afraid of God’s word for it holds truth, wisdom and knowledge. It also talks about man and his failures and the troubles that comes when man does not follow the wisdom of God. It talks about the punishment man receives as consequences for his action. These words put fear into man and they believe that just by removing God’s word they can also remove God.

However, God is always present and can always redirect man. God has put His Holy Spirit among men that his word is present in their hearts. They know right from wrong and it becomes their decision to make the right or wrong choice.

Choose today to follow the words of God for they shall make a path in your life that will lead you to a prosperous and rewarding life. Let God direct the ways of your life.

Love for the other person

Proverbs 14:29 NLT

29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.

There are those whose fiery passion is unbridled and invoked without notice to others.  It can come in an instant without explanation and shows great foolishness on the part of the person when their temper rages.

A simple but marvelous illustration of nonirritable love took place during a baseball game between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Washington Nationals during the 2009 pennant race. Phillies fan Steve Montforto was sitting with three-year-old daughter Emily when a foul ball curled back into the upper deck. Montforto leaned over the railing to catch his first and only foul ball—every fans dream. But when he handed the ball to little Emily, immediately she threw it back over the railing and down into the lower deck. Everyone gasped. Monforto himself was as surprised as anyone to see her throw the ball away. But rather than getting irritated with his little girl, he did what a loving father should do: he wrapped his daughter up in a tender embrace.

This is the way God loves us. He puts gifts into our hands that we could never catch for ourselves. Without realizing what we are doing, sometimes, we throw them away. Yet rather than getting irritated with us, he loves us again. Then he gives us the freedom to go love someone else with the same kind of love. He even gives us the grace to go back to people who throw our love away and love them all over again. [Phil Ryken, Loving the Way Jesus Loves (Crossway, 2012), page 58]

Anger is what many psychologists call a secondary emotion, because behind the anger are other emotions pushing a person towards anger. For the father above instead of being surprised, he could have been easily disappointed to have lost the ball he wanted so much to catch. Disappointment could have turned to anger and then anger could have exploded with criticism towards his daughter. Instead even though he was surprised about his daughter’s actions; he had the understanding to control any anger and show love towards his daughter. Let us all learn to stop our emotions before we reach anger by understanding our triggers and learning to turn our feelings towards love for the other person.