Enablement

2 Samuel 13:3-7 (NLT)
3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea. 4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.” 7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him.


These verses are about the assault and rape of King David’s daughter Tamar by her half brother and David’s son Amnon. We see his cousin, Jonadab, help craft and evil plan with Amnon to fulfill his desire to sin. We see King David, although unaware of what is to take place, give permission for Amnon’s request. And we see Amnon plotting and planning on his own to fake illness in order to achieve his sin.


These verses are the beginning of a reflection on King David’s failure to act as King. We see David become someone who enables another’s sin to go unresolved. First King David became an unknowing participant to his son’s plot. Then we see the family dysfunction in these following verses, “Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister.” While King David knew what happened, he never acted as King to resolve the matter. Instead it allowed the anger to fester inside of Tamar’s full brother Absalom until he was ready to kill Amnon. Absalom must have been taught these things should remain quiet for he told his sister to keep quiet about what had happened. David never confronted Amnon about his actions. Maybe it is because Amnon’s actions were too close to those of David’s past. Maybe David saw his own failures and allowed the failure of his son to proceed without consequences. Whatever the reason David enabled Amnon to go unpunished for his actions, while his other son Absalom took on the guilt and suffering of his sister.