A Rebuke - constructive criticism

Proverbs 15:31 (NLT)
31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.

Solomon tells us that it is the character of a wise person to listen to words of criticism that are good for one to hear. The verse also implies the person who gives ear to the criticizer also will love them in return for their constructive words. Those who listen well will learn well, follow well, and in time likely teach and manage others well.



Gordon MacDonald in his sermon, “Feeling as God Feels” tells the following. One time, twenty or so years ago, I was in Japan on a speaking tour with a close personal friend. He was a number of years older than I was. As we walked down the street in Yokohama, Japan, the name of a common friend came up, and I said something unkind about that person. It was sarcastic. It was cynical. It was a put-down. My older friend stopped, turned, and faced me until his face was right in front of mine. With deep, slow words he said, "Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not say a thing like that about a friend." He could have put a knife into my ribs, and the pain would not have been any less. He did what a prophet does. But you know something? There have been ten thousand times in the last twenty years that I have been saved from making a jerk of myself. When I've been tempted to say something unkind about a brother or sister, I hear my friend's voice say "Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not speak in such a way about a friend."

A genuine rebuke is a noble communication; its intention is to free a person for growth and effectiveness by speaking, as Paul puts it, "truth in love". Rebukes are often tough to give and for some even tougher to receive. I am sure it was difficult for Peter when Jesus said to him in Matthew 16:23, “You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men". But we know Peter listened to Jesus and went on to be the foundation of the church. A good rebuke is issue-specific. Words are not minced, and the hearer has no question about what is being said. A good rebuke does not normally come off the top of someone's head; rather it is thought through carefully. It is framed in prayer and sometimes in tears.