Emotional intimacy

1 Samuel 25:29 (NLT)
29 “Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the LORD your God, secure in his treasure pouch!

David was known for his love of God. God loved David and in the Bible called David a man after His own heart. In these verses we find Abigail, the wife of Nabal, telling David his life is safe and secure in the care of The Lord. God had a close, intimate relationship with David and watched over him and protected him. We find in the book of Psalms David often opens his heart to God and speaks honestly to The Lord. David felt safe and secure in the arms of The Lord and others took notice of that.



Intimacy is when a person feels they can be open, honest and expressive and feel safe and secure at the same time. The idea can apply to emotional or physical intimacy, but let’s focus on the emotional aspect. Emotional intimacy is what David felt in his relationship with God. David could be expressive and feel safe and secure in the arms of God.

An important part of emotional intimacy is a need for honesty. When someone is open and honest with us it gives us a sense of security. We can understand what they desire, what they like, and what they dislike. It allows us to gain a sense of who they are and what they want. In a relationship most of us want to know the other person, what is taking place in their lives and what has happened in their past that might have affected them. This honesty brings us closer together in an intimate way.

Honesty and openness is a good thing for a relationship because it brings intimacy. What happens though when honesty is missing? When a person is not open and honest it begins to undermine a relationship. Dishonesty quickly destroys the feelings of being safe and secure. Those insecure feelings interrupt intimacy because the foundation of the relationship has been shattered. We can no longer trust our feelings about the other person because we no longer have a true sense of who they are.

There are many reasons why people may be dishonest. Sometimes it is what they learned from their parents. Sometimes it is because they are immature and don’t want to deal with reality. Maybe they have experienced dishonesty themselves so they learned to guard their feelings by being dishonest. Some may have been hurt in the past by their honesty so they choose to remain silent, which is a form of dishonesty. People will become desperate because of sin and they will start lying and deceiving to cover their tracks. There are some who are insecure and admitting to the truth heightens their insecurity. So there are many reasons and most reasons are the result of sin.

A person must accept the responsibility of being honest for themselves. A person must decide they will have integrity and tell the truth. We can however help in our relationships by ensuring we listen carefully and provide a safe and secure way for the other person to express themselves. If we ridicule, hurt, disregard feelings, putdown, belittle or we also are dishonest -- it is going to hinder honesty from the other person. Look to God to see how to make your relationship safe and secure just like God provides safety and security for you. Look to God on how to be honest, for God Himself cannot lie. God tells us throughout the Bible what is good about honesty and what is bad about dishonesty. Read His words of encouragement.

Let other others take notice of your intimate relationship for it honors your spouse and God.