Genesis 4 (23-24 ) New King James Version
23 Then Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah, hear
my voice; Wives of Lamech, listen to my speech! For I have killed a man for
wounding me, Even a young man for hurting me. 24 If Cain shall be avenged
sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.”
Lamech was a descendant of Cain who had killed his
brother Able. God took away Cain’s ability to till the ground and banished him
from his home. Cain feared for his life because of his actions. God in His
mercy placed a mark on Cain saying, “Whoever kills Cain, vengeance shall be
taken on him seven-fold.” In the verses above we see Lamech claiming this privilege
and stating there shall be a seventy-sevenfold avengence.
During the process of counseling someone on problems in
their marriage, most of the issues will be about the other spouse. Seldom does
a person stop to think how they may be a part of the destruction of the
relationship.
Even if they were asked to give a percentage of the
problems attributed to the spouse and a percentage attributed to them; the
largest percentage would be attributed to the spouse. If you wanted to talk
about their problems you would find them shifting blame back to the spouse.
I have written on blame before. Typically we want to blame
someone else other than ourselves for the problems we are facing. Adam blamed
God for his sin. Eve blamed the serpent for hers. And that problem still
continues today. We don’t want the responsibility so we blame someone else.
Above Lamech was not accepting responsibility for his
actions of killing another person. Instead he wanted to claim God’s mercy
stating if Cain shall be avenged sevenfold then he should be avenged
seventy-sevenfold. Lamech was making a
false assumption that because God had spared Cain he too was justified. Instead
the reprieve of Cain and the patience God exercised towards Cain caused Lamech
to harden his heard in sinful ways.
As conflict arises in your life this week take a moment
to assess the problem. It doesn’t matter if the conflict is at home, work or
with friends. Ask yourself, what portion
of the pie am I responsible for? Then ask how you plan to address your own part
of the pie. Take responsibility and stop shifting the blame.
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