Search for what should be normal.

1 Samuel 25:40-44 (NLT)
40 When the messengers arrived at Carmel, they told Abigail, “David has sent us to take you back to marry him.” 41 She bowed low to the ground and responded, “I, your servant, would be happy to marry David. I would even be willing to become a slave, washing the feet of his servants!” 42 Quickly getting ready, she took along five of her servant girls as attendants, mounted her donkey, and went with David’s messengers. And so she became his wife. 43 David also married Ahinoam from Jezreel, making both of them his wives. 44 Saul, meanwhile, had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to a man from Gallim named Palti son of Laish.

These verses follow a confrontation with Nabal, Abigail’s husband. David’s men need supplies as they were on the run from Saul’s army. Nabal rejected David’s request for aid and insulted David. In his anger David was ready to put Nabal to death, but Abigail interceded by taking supplies to the men. David thankful spared Nabal. When Abigail told Nabal of his near fate he had a stroke and died several days later. In the verses above David decides to take Abigail as his wife, along with one of her servants, Ahinoam as a second wife. In the meantime Saul, David’s father-in-law had given David’s first wife Michal, Saul’s daughter, who loved David, to Palti son of Laish.

 

Anyone reading the story of King David’s life would think they were following a soup opera. So far we have David on the run. David’s first wife has been given to another man because David abandoned her. David marries not only the woman who helped him, but also her servant. And we haven’t even gotten to the story of Bathsheba or the rape of David’s daughter by one of his sons. You can pretty much say David had lived a very dysfunctional life.

The sad part is the dysfunction carried over into the life of King Solomon, David’s son. King Solomon had over 600 wives and 300 concubines. Solomon followed much of the same pattern as his father taking on new wives and allowing himself to be led away from God. Many today might see this as an addiction, since their uncontrolled behaviors had serious consequences.

In today’s world, the reliable figures for the number of diagnosed sex addicts are difficult to come by, but the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, an education and sex-addiction treatment organization, estimates that between 3 and 5 percent of the U.S. population—or more than 9 million people—could meet the criteria for addiction. Some 1,500 sex therapists treating compulsive behavior are practicing today, up from fewer than 100 a decade ago, say several researchers and clinicians, while dozens of rehabilitation centers now advertise treatment programs, up from just five or six in the same period.

Unfortunately many dysfunctions get passed down from generation to generation until someone decides they need to end the family problems. You may not even realize your family has dysfunctional issues until you talk to someone outside the family. Often people think what they are dealing with is normal. They may think abusive actions are normal. They may think alcoholism is normal. They may think addiction like gambling, sex, and drugs are normal. The problem is they are NOT NORMAL, but they person thinks they are normal because that is how they lived within the family.

Pray God would let you see areas in your family’s life that could be improved and changed. Pray God would show you a route of escape and a hope for the future. Pray God would bestow his love, mercy and grace upon you and your family. Search for what should be normal.